Once upon a time I had a perfect life. Maybe not the life everyone wanted but it was so very perfect to me. I have never been one to want a lot. Having a healthy family with a home was always enough for me. We always enjoyed doing things together and lived in every moment. When that all changed I told myself to just be grateful that I had it at one…
This one life.
Whether you believe in God, reincarnation, or just nothing; this life, this one you are living right now, this is it. You will never again live this life as this person. You will never again live these experiences and learn these lessons. Every life is unique and so very special. Why do we as a society not see that? At some point in almost every…
My week
This week. I feel like this week is still so raw I’m not sure I can gather my thoughts. But I will try. Tuesday was my 8 year wedding anniversary. I took the kids to dinner and we had ice cream after. Sometimes I can still feel exactly where I would be if Joey was here. That night was like that for me. I was never super sad. I just sat back…
Another first without him
This time last year my daughter started kindergarten. It didn’t seem real that this monumental time was happening and her dad wasn’t there to see it. My heart always grieves heavier for my children when I think about all the things they are going to miss with their dad. So many footstones that will take place over their lifetime, and they will…
Keep the traditions alive
For the past 15 years my family and I have taken our vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. When Joey and I started dating he started coming with us. Over the years of marriage and children it has become our family tradition as well. Last year we came a month after Joeys passing. I remember very little of the trip. I was constantly faking a smile and trying…
Facing your fears
Two weeks ago my oldest son was involved in a bicycle accident. He was being a typical 14 year old boy and decided to ride is bike down an extremely steep hill and lost control at the end. The handlebar stabbed him in the stomach, he was then thrown off the bike. He was conscious but immediately began to throw up. Thank God his friend was with him…
Why am I still here?
When someone you truly love dies you cannot help but feel empty and useless. You wonder why and how you will live this life without them. For me I know I have to; I have four kids depending on me. I can’t let them down, I can’t leave them. But for a long time my mentality was I needed to live long enough to raise them, get them off on their own…
An out of the world gift
My wedding anniversary is not until the end of August. So I was very surprised this week when I received an email from my best friend with an anniversary present in it. My best friend CJ bought me a star. She said she wanted me to have it early enough to be able to find it. I have known CJ since we were in middle school. I was her maid of honor in…
It’s ok to not be ok
This week as been nothing short of rough. I’m hoping through this blog I will come up with something inspiring. But the truth is sometimes life is just hard. For some reason, I’m not overly sure why, I just have been very stressed and emotional this week. Sometimes it just hits you really hard, the truth, and the reality of where you are and…
I miss my someone
This week my sister turned 30. So we headed to Nashville to celebrate. It was an amazing trip. We had a blast. But as I looked around I noticed something I notice a lot, everyone with their “someone”. And it just makes me miss my someone. Over the course of this year I have become more comfortable being the single parent and the third wheel. It…
My Husband’s Son
I will never forget the morning I had to tell my children their daddy was gone. My five year old daughter took it the hardest. She understood the words I was saying, although she couldn’t comprehend the true meaning of it she knew death meant he wasn’t coming home. My four year old son did not understand it at, his response was “Ok can I go…
Running through Grief
Two years ago my friend Sam convinced me to run the Warrior Dash; Joey, my husband decided he would do it too. I was very nervous. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to keep up or get through the obstacles. But whenever I did anything with Joey I always tried to keep up with him; I never wanted to let him down. So the first half we did together…