I have always believed that we are all connected – that every one of us on this earth, connects to each other in both tiny and ginormous ways – sometimes without even knowing it or realizing it. Some connections are obvious right away, others become more obvious with time, and still others are a puzzle to be figured out at a later date. Whatever…
Its My Anniversary, and My Husband Is Dead
Today is my wedding anniversary.October 27, 2006.It is late at night now, and I have gone through the entire day,of my anniversary,alone.Without my husband. This would have been our 10-year anniversary.An entire decade together.All the things that might have happened,in those 10 years. The house we might have searched for together,and bought.Or the…
It’s Back Again, But You’re Not Here ….
This week, for reasons too complicated to get into here, I released a piece on my personal grief blog, sharing that 20 years ago this year, in the middle of the night, in my apartment, I was raped. (if you want to understand more about that post or why I chose to speak up about it now, you can find it at www.ripthelifeiknew.com, or all over my…
Transitions
I just ended a relationship with someone I had been seeing for about 4 months. Like me, he is widowed, and I met him on a dating site. I guess you could say we “broke up.” Is that still what the kids call it these days? I have no idea. I didn’t word it that way when I ended things between us. The phrase “breaking up” almost sounds too childish and…
We Grew a Family
So, I am writing to you today from Akron, Ohio. I am sitting across the table from my beautiful friend Sarah, who is also writing a piece in her journal at the exact same time that I attempt to write this piece on this blog. I am staying here for the weekend, with Sarah and Mike. (and Mike’s 9 year old daughter, Shelby, who is awesome) All…
Just Life
Today is one of those weird days where I don’t have much to say. I love writing for this blog, and 9 times out of 10, even when I sit down to start typing and have no clue what Im going to write about, I end up coming up with something after all. But every now and then, you just have one of those weeks where there’s not much going on or not much to…
Vernacular
A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my dear widower friend, and he said something that really stuck with me. “You know what I miss the most?”, he said.”I miss her vernacular. That way that she spoke, that only she could speak. The way she spoke to me.” After thinking about this long and hard, about what he said and what he meant by it, I…
A Path Built on Love
BIG. LIFE. CHANGES. I will be leaving NYC. I will be leaving my apartment, my teaching job of 16 years (that one hurts), and the greatest city in the world – the only city I have known and called “home” for the past 26 years, since I was 18 years old and moved here from small-town Groton, Massachusetts. I know this is the right decision for me at…
My Davy Jones Moment
Please excuse me while I quote Marcia Brady from the famous episode of “The Brady Bunch”, where The Monkees Davy Jones kisses her cheek, and she holds it and declares: “I will never wash this cheek again.” Wednesday, August 31, 2016, my biggest crush in life, Harry Connick Jr., kissed my cheek. And hugged me. At least 3 times. And sang a song about…
If You Werent Dead
The other day, a dear widower friend called me, and could immediately sense in my tone, that something was off. “What’s wrong?”, he said. “Nothing,” I answered, not because I was trying to be vague, but more because I couldn’t really identify a specific thing that was wrong. So he said: “Come on. I know you better than that. Something’s wrong. What…
The Things Inside
*(I am filling in for Mike today, as he had some emergencies at work come up that needed to be taken care of, and couldn’t fulfill his widowed blogging duties for today. And as everyone knows, if the widowed person cannot fulfill the widowed duties, another widowed Runner-Up steps in and fulfills those duties for them. So, here I am, and Mike will…
Trust Your Gut
Last month was the 5 year mark since my husband’s sudden death. About 11 months after he died, I started going to see my grief counselor/therapist. I found her through a series of other therapists that were either not a match for me, didn’t get it at all, or were way too expensive. (and for me, way too expensive = any money at all, since Im broke.)…