My house is finally getting repaired after birds nested in a water damaged soffit this spring. I’ve posted about it a few times over the last year. But it’s so nice to finally make some progress.
After a few offers for help failed to come through, my friend and I contemplated fixing it ourselves. I have ladders, tools and the internet. But something told me I could do more damage than good. So, I contacted a trusted referral and got on his schedule. He began work last week.
Like almost every construction project, when you start digging into the problem you uncover more issues. The water damage had been building for a long time. He had to cut away more rot than expected but he was able to shore up the internal damages. A roofer also came out and fixed the places the water damage was originating from. Next, a stucco expert will come and fix the visible damage. Finally, I will have to have the house repainted sooner than later. While I am not looking forward to paying for that piece, I am kind of excited to pick fresh paint colors.
In a weird way, the house repair reminds me of rebuilding from grief. Sometimes we let that old wound fester where no one can see. On the surface, everything might seem fine. It’s not until we start peeling back the layers that we start to let go of the darkness that has been simmering underneath it all. We are never ‘fixed’ so this process can present itself over and over through the years as our grief crashes with other external factors in our lives. You’ll do the work again and again.
The fun part is sometimes you get to build something new. Pick fresh paint colors, learn a new skill, hold a new baby, take a vacation, move to a new city, retire. Everyone’s list looks different. These fun parts are still twinged in bittersweet because we’re doing them without someone we love. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it too.
I’m still in the thick of the repair and rebuilding the house right now. I feel okay in my grief space after spending some time in therapy again last year. But I expect both cycles to repeat themselves eventually. The important thing is to take care of yourself.
