I try to use the first month of a new year to take a good look at my life … do some deep diving, reviewing, thinking, planning. What’s working well? What do I need to change? What new things do I want to try? What do I need to leave behind? What mistakes have I made? What can I do to correct those?

Now, to be honest, I have not always done this well, but I’ve made an effort to try to work through at least some of it. And I will tell you I expect it to be much harder to do this year. I’m grieving the loss of Jim just four months ago and all the additional losses that unexpectedly came along with his passing. And the current state of this world is just plain hard to face right now. So I anticipate working through these questions now is going to be a challenge. I’m hopeful that writing through all of it will be helpful for me to put some of these things into perspective. (I think I’m gonna need a bigger journal.)

I’m headed to that beach condo this week so I’ve updated my planner and I’ve started writing in that pretty new journal. I’m packing some art supplies and books – and some things to create a vision board. I think the beach will be the perfect space for me to do this much needed reflection.

And all of this also leads me to this bigger question …

What is my purpose here on earth?

I’ve considered this question previously, of course, but it feels like I need to actually write it all out now. I’ll do much of that in my journal, but I thought perhaps others might get something out of what I’ve decided just might be my whole reason for being put on this ol’ earth.

To be the caregiver to two wonderful men

There are several connections between my two men. Unexpected. Not planned. But I think those dates must mean something.

I married Vern August 23 (1969) and he died September 22 (2010)

I married Jim August 25 (2021) and he died September 26 (2025)

Both Vern and Jim died from renal failure after a long cancer battle

I’m thinking I need to do something big this year to honor these special men and these important weeks … so I’ve started making a list of some possibilities. Any other ideas to add?

• Banff National Park in Canada (that’s been on my bucket list forever)
• Camp Widow in Calgary, which lands on the one year date of Jim’s passing
• Yellowstone National Park
• Glacier National Park

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