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Posted on: October 25, 2021 | Posted by: Staci Sulin

When Mike came into my life I had just recently left my marriage of twenty-one years.   I was not even thinking about dating. I was just trying to navigate my life as a newly divorced single mother.  My plan was simple.  Make sure my boys were “okay”.  That was it.  This is all that mattered.  I was worried about how my sons would adjust to living in two separate homes; and, I was scared about taking on all the responsibilities of homeownership on my own as a single mom.

When Mike and I met, we slowly developed a friendship.  Spring turned to Summer and Summer to Fall and through the seasons we got to know each other.  By the time Fall rolled around in 2015 we knew that we were developing into something more than just friends.  The rest is history.  Once we decided we were going to take a shot at being together, we never looked back.

Mike came into my life and he showed me what love is supposed to sound like, what it looks like, and what it feels like.  He doted on me.  He adored me.   And, in a lot of ways it felt like he “saved” me.  He taught me that love is not supposed to be “work”.  From our relationship, I learned that genuine love is easy.  Mike made my entire life easy.  Then, he died and everything was difficult for a long, long time.

Now, 4.11 years have passed since Mike died.  There are new people in my life and I am grateful for their presence in my life because they  help me to feel more connected to life again.

When Mike was alive he babied me.  And, he wanted to “save” me from discomfort and anything that would make life difficult for me.  Now, there is a new person in my life who pushes me more than Mike did.  And, this is okay because I do not need saving anymore because I already saved myself.  Now, I need to learn to love and care for myself.  I need believe that I am enough.  I thought Mike taught me to believe this, but I was wrong.  I still do not fully believe that I am enough and this new person helps push me to practice believing that I am capable and able to do things on my own.  He tries to help me realize that I am enough.  In this way, he is picking up where Mike left off and this is exactly what I need.  He is who I need now.

 

When you allow life to unfold, the right people come into your life at the right time.

 

~Staci

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Suddenly, Uncategorized

About Staci Sulin

It is my privilege to write to you each week and I hope my blog inspires you to lean into your grief. This isn't easy, but it is the only way through this mess.

I believe that we are lead back towards life and living when we allow ourselves to be still, and sit in the "nothingness" where grief lives. Visiting this empty place is difficult, but it is necessary. This quiet place holds the blueprints of our new, alternate life.

I know you are scared to go to the edge of this place; admittedly, I was too. But, in order to reenter life, we have to take a leap of faith. With time, I gathered momentum and I took the leap - building my wings on the way down.

It has been nearly five years since Mike died and I realize that what I feared most about the future was not the obvious uncertainties; but, rather, the possibility of letting new beginnings and a good life to pass me by. I was afraid that I would settle into an ordinary life when I want an extraordinary life.

I worried that I would play small, when my potential is big. As I write to you each week I am challenging us both not to shrink. I am keeping us accountable. I do not want either of us to fall back into an easy comfortableness when we can leap forward, towards a bold life. I want you to manifest the best in yourself. Go on, begin to recreate a beautiful life for yourself.

From the Ledge with Wings in Hand,

Staci

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