Last week I wrote about the one year anniversary of the passing of my dad on April 29. Then I realized there was another milestone of sorts. April 28th marked the two and a half year point of my Widowhood. I guess it’s good that I wasn’t so fixated on this milestone, but it made me feel like I was “forgetting” something important. The gamut of emotions contained in a single day can be overwhelming.
Yesterday was National Widow’s Day, and I spent some time reading heartwrenching posts in on-line groups exclusively for those who’ve lost spouses, partners and significant others. Many relay how they are coping at having been widowed at the 2 and a half to three year mark. Many even speak of their struggles at five years plus “In”.
I know that those who haven’t experienced this specific loss may not grasp how that is possible, but each week I read hundreds of such posts discussing how those who’ve suffered this loss know the journey is never really over. I often tell those “just starting out” that understanding this from the beginning helps to cope as there is no Finish Line to which one must rush and long-term feelings of grief are normal no matter how far you’ve come. And by the way, in the Hierarchy of Widowhood, I’m not even considered seasoned myself; still considered a Recent Widow among the fold.
Recently someone asked me why I continue to write about widowhood when I’ve started a new life. I thought about that and put it this way; if I lost an arm or a leg (literally) and then got fitted with a prosthetic, would I still not be an amputee who could help others in the same situation better cope with their unique challenges? Even if that arm or leg is covered by a shirt or pants, and the individual appears to be moving around in a “normal” manner, doesn’t negate the fact that they are privately navigating challenges invisible to most of the world. Widowhood has been likened to an Invisible Amputation.
A lot of these issues come up as I continue to draft my Memoir with the Working Title FETCHING QUINT: HOW A CAMP FOR THE WIDOWED, A HOLIDAY FOR DOGS, AND A BLIND RESCUE PUP BROUGHT HOPE, HEALING AND SECOND CHANCES.
It’s coming along, but it’s a “ruff” topic on several fronts and sometimes I can only write so much.
Speaking of “ruff” (and writing), I’ve started doing some volunteer writing and outreach for the local dog rescues here in one of the poorest and largest counties in the state of Florida. Last week I attended a meeting organized to address many issues of animal neglect and public safety focusing on abused and abandoned animals and the devastating incidents caused by dogs that are often free to roam in rural settings. It was encouraging to see many civic leaders, mayors and members of law enforcement and animal control as well as concerned citizens discussing possible solutions and committing to making meaningful long-term changes. I admire the efforts of those working for animal welfare here such as The Animal Rescue Konsortium (ARK) in Crescent City, and The Animal Welfare League of Putnam County in addition to individuals and groups in so many other areas of the nation.
I also remain active in my role as Board Member and Social Media coordinator for the Dog Writers Association of America (DWAA) and of course writing for you all here each Saturday Morning. I appreciate these outlets that allow me to help my fellow humans, and hopefully a few canines, along the way,
Thanks for reading. If you have any questions please reach out to me at [email protected]
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Have a good and productive week.
