I’m not going to write about what’s going on all around the world right now.
We’re all getting enough of it on a 24 hour basis.
I will, instead, write about Love.
I’m going to write about the power of Love in uncertain times.
The power of Love when our worlds are already, or still, shaky, because our person who made disasters bearable (hopefully) is no longer next to us.
I don’t deny that I’m feeling more anxious.
I’m human, after all. I’m fairly certain, anyways, even though I often feel like I’m really just a hologram in the time since Chuck’s death.
His Love for me was very real, however.
The Love he left behind for me is as real as real could be.
It’s the most real thing in my life.
The only thing that grounds me.
In these crazy apoplectic and apocalyptical times that feel awfully like a Stephen King novel…or at least as I’ve heard his books described, as I’ve never read one...
I think hard about what power I have.
I think about where I can make a difference with the power that I have.
There are plenty of practical things to do, of course, but what is of more value to me are the intangibles.
I understand anxiety and powerlessness and fear and that sense of discombobulation and disorientation.
Emotions and the words to describe them that I felt in the first years following Chuck’s death.
Emotions that still zing through me. Often.
Then, as now, even though it in no way makes up for his physical presence…
I breathe in the Love that he had for me.
That I had for him.
That he left behind for me.
That I carry with me every mile I drive, every breath I take.
And I scatter that Love like diamond dust, in every direction,
Sprinkling it on each person that I meet,
Or correspond with,
Or chat with on the phone,
Or message with on fb,
Or think of in my heart.
A Love as strong as Chuck had for me,
And I had for him,
And we had together,
Not only does not die…
It regenerates and regenerates and regenerates,
I know this to be true because I carry with me all of your Love, reflected in the names of the names of your loved ones on my rig, and within each of the names is the Love they bore for you <3
And each time I scatter it,
It recreates itself into an even stronger and more powerful force,
It is limitless and its’ depths are endless.
I guard it fiercely and I share it fiercely.
This is my power.
It’s my bodacious and audacious, dynamic and self perpetuating, immortal and boundless…super power.
And it is yours too~