I Did Not Order This Life 📦

Nope! not even by mistake. I want my old life back.

Week started as a downer for all three of us, each for different reasons.

Our daughter was devastated because she finally landed a gymnastics skill she’d been working on for months. But when she tried it again at home, she couldn’t do it. Big heartbreak. Big tears.

“This is so unfair! I’ve been working so hard, and I finally got it. Now I can’t do it! I lost it! I hate my brain! I don’t want to do gymnastics anymore!”. She was utterly heartbroken.

Our son couldn’t get himself onto a summer schedule and was feeling incredibly unproductive, which quickly spiraled into a bad place mentally. Anxiety. Racing thoughts. Frustration. Anger.

As for me? I was completely drained. So much so that I had to take a nap early Monday afternoon, something I rarely do because my body usually refuses to cooperate.  Planning for and getting thru even simple holidays like the Fourth of July are still incredibly hard. His absence in our lives is still so loud. No matter how hard I try to muffle it with distractions, it’s still deafening.

If It’s Not One Thing… 🤬

Tuesday, my son and I headed to a big parking lot to practice driving. Even though he’s 17 (almost 18!), and we both want him to get his license, neither of us had the mental or emotional bandwidth to tackle it last year. As I was turning into the parking lot, there was a huge semi-truck blocking part of the entrance. Trying to squeeze around it, I hit the curb. I stopped. “Mami… the tire!” 🛞

It had been slashed by the curb and was deflating fast. “Get back in the car,” I said and I drove us to the nearest gas station so they could put on the spare. Well… there went our driving practice. My boy looked at me, completely defeated.

“Of course this happens to us.”

Once we made it home, we had one of those long, deep, brutally honest conversations. The kind where there are long pauses because both of you are trying not to cry. We both cried anyway. And we agreed that this sucks!

“I’m tired of just surviving, Mami. We’re trying so hard. Are we ever going to thrive again?”

“I hope so,” I told him. “I’ve been told it’s possible. I have to believe that one day we won’t just survive. We’ll thrive again. What’s the alternative, right?”.

Because if I stop believing that… I don’t know how this story ends.

So… You know those movies and TV shows where, one year after their spouse dies, the widow or widower has rebuilt their life, found new love, and the whole blended family is magically thriving again?

Total rip-off. I want my money back!

Return Request 👩🏻‍💻

Reasons for Return:

Let’s see, where do I start…

• This life is definitely too big/too heavy. It does not fit well.
• It arrived in terrible condition.
• Not as expected because, shocker, I did NOT expect this life.
• Some very important people are missing.
• This life is defective and I no longer need it.
• The wrong life was sent.
• Both the the life and the shipping box are badly damaged.
• The website description of widowhood was wildly inaccurate.
• I no longer need or want this life.

I want a full refund. Please credit my original life. You know, the one with my husband.

The one with our happy, loud, loving, fun, slightly crazy, mildly dysfunctional familia of cuatro 4.

That’s the one I ordered ❤️‍🩹

 

Hasta la próxima! Until next time  Peace.