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Here Comes Everybody

Posted on: May 24, 2023 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

When my children were little, our youngest son always seemed to make a friend wherever he went. The library, in the aisles of the grocery store, or even while waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy.

He was wired for seeing children in his world as “little-while friends.”

Library book, Orlando's Little-While Friends by Audrey Wood
A Scrapbook Storybook by Audrey Wood at a library near you!

When I attended Camp Widow, not long after my husband died, little did I know how many “little-while friends” would be there for me—the person at the sign-in table, another by the coffee. Even the hotel staff seemed to be in on the kindness and support. Everyone seemed so cheerful.

By the time I got to the final day, it was “here comes everyone” in the group photo! Widowed people from all over the United States had “caught” the smiles that welcomed them just three days before. They’d attended talks that covered many questions and other talks that introduced things to think about that had not yet entered their minds.

We found strength in each other.

Hundreds of Widowed People at Camp Widow San Diego.
Image courtesy of Soaring Spirits International, Camp Widow San Diego.

Each one with a story of love and loss.

Soon after Camp Widow, I began attending a Soaring Spirits Regional Group located in a town just under forty miles from my home. It was the closest one at that time and it was worth the drive to connect with new and old friends, sharing a meal and conversation. A simple yet important follow-up to the Camp Widow experience for me, and an new, first-time experience for some who heard about the group from friends or family. I visited with the person in front of me, on either side of me. Meaningful conversation with five widows or widowers felt worth the drive.

Within the time we were together there were moments.

Moments when someone would mention missing going out with their spouse on the weekends and how this gathering helped. Moments about current struggles and the heaviness of grief were received and validated by those who knew. Wonder if future might bring them a special love again—or not. There were no pat answers.

table awaiting guests in a restaurant
Image courtesy of Artem Beliaikin via unsplash.com

Around year two, getting to the meeting some forty miles away presented a challenge.

Especially the part where I am on the 91 freeway in the dark. Though I knew I would miss my Orange County friends and the amazing Priscilla Schubert, I began to look at options. It seemed time to start a group in my town and in the face of the current drive, it felt possible. When I reached out to Susan Hannfin-MacNab, they were just about to do an “onboarding” for new regional group leaders. I joined just in time to be a part of the training.

Community in all its forms is the gift of Soaring Spirits International. Peer support: the best kind. Lucky us to know that there are friends in the wings just waiting to be friends of ours! Lucky us!

welcome sign asking others to please come in
Image courtesy of Aaron Burden via unsplash.com

Seeking widowed folk in your area? Check here!

https://soaringspirits.org/programs/in-person-programs/regional-social-groups/

 

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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