I danced under the full moon tonight.
It was the Super Flower Blood Moon and I was on the beach in North Carolina.
The air was balmy, the breeze whispering on my skin, and the ocean waves rolled back and forth easily.
It was perfect.
In those moments my heart held all the nights and all the full moons that are mere memories now…the nights Chuck and I danced, wherever we happened to be.
Does it feel just unreal to you that your person is dead? Surreal?
And I wonder, will the time ever come when I don’t see Chuck’s gone-ness as a puzzle yet to be figured out?
The moon is there.
Where the fuck is he?
I stare at my hand and wonder that it isn’t enveloped in his as I meander along the beach.
Where is he?
If I study that full moon, boring my gaze into it, will the answer come to me?
Will Chuck ever not be missing from me?