The excitement of new.
The knowing of strife.
The frustration of sickness.
The commitment for life.
The determination to protect.
The joy of more days.
The newness of health.
The fear it won’t stay.
The sliver of hope.
The knowledge of none.
The witnessing a demise.
The grief that begun.
We struggle, we cry.
Anxious, we fear.
As time marches on,
We remember more clear.
Life wasn’t a climb,
It wasn’t all stress.
We loved another truly.
We don’t love them less.
They live on in moments
When we remember their smile
When we recall their laugh
Or their particular style
We float on an ocean
Of imbalance and waves
Of calm waters and rough seas
Of watery graves
Times of sorrow creep in
Torpedoes abound.
They appear unexpected
In a vision or sound
A song brings us grief
A sight can remind
A fragile content
Becomes undermined.
We pick up the pieces
Set a course by the stars
Each one serves as guidance
Each point a memoir
It may take a moment
An hour or two
A year may be sufficient
But for most, decades won’t do.
Gone, not forgotten
What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger
Oft quoted, repeated
Until we can take it no longer.
We hear “you should move on”
Another odd phrase
“You should”, “You need to”
“This is all just a phase”
They mean well, they do
They just don’t understand.
That losing your heart
Is NOT part of “god’s plan”
What you lost is still yours
Own it with pride
As hard as it is
Be proud of your ride
Your ship is only
A vessel, a boat
You steer it, you know it
You make it float.
You’re here and you’re living
A life torn apart
But it’s yours, and YOU choose
If you make a new start
No shame, no regrets
Love fully and deeply
Love another again
Love them completely
You may want to sail
Alone if you’re so inclined
There is no “you need to”
No laws that bind.
There are no instructions
Nothing is defined
You sail wherever
Brings you peace of mind
I am now thirty seven
I’ve lived lives more than most
I am proud of my past
I stuck with my post
I loved Megan, though sick
I kept to my part
In sickness and health
Until death did us part
My vows never broken
And never will be
I can love how I want
As I float on this sea
I don’t have a map
No one has a chart
It’s our pasts that guide us
And we know it by heart
I may have “moved forward”
I may be on a new trail
But a new love and one lost
Still fills both sails
As I sail with Sarah
As I sailed before
Each fill their own spaces
Each has their own door
It is my choice to walk
Through whichever I choose
Damn the torpedoes
I’m enjoying this cruise.
