Last week, the Awareness Observance of The Day of the Dead Pets, or, Día de Muertos de la Mascota, took place on October 27th. This occasion presents a heartfelt tradition when we recall and honor dogs, cats, and other animal companions who have gone on. It also believed by some that the spirits of our deceased pets visit us as the sun sets. Although I did not personally receive a spirit pet visit, it’s a lovely tradition and belief.
Also last week, I observed my Fifth Year membership in the International Widowed Club, more on that soon.
The other day, I read an excerpt from an article on Facebook. Published in The Atlantic, it was written by a man about the grief he experienced after losing a beloved dog. It seemed to imply it was one of the worst losses ever possible. I commented that I might’ve agreed before I lost my partner, although I often advise that it’s best to meet people where they are in their Loss Experience if someone starts competing in the Grief Olympics. For him, it was the worst grief he’d ever experienced.
I’ve lost some beloved pets. One passed just months before the death of my husband, Rich. Teddy, a beautiful and soulful black and white Havanese-mix was a special dog. Everyone loved him and his passing was grieved by us and many others. Adopted at age three, Teddy spent seven good years with us even making the move to Georgia in 2020 before letting us know he could no longer carry on when he became ill. It was a very sad day indeed when Teddy lost his fight. A forlorner Rich asked that we have no more dogs. He took Teddy’s passing to heart, and still grieved for our Portuguese Water Dog, Hooper, who’d passed in 2012.
By that time in my life in 2021, I’d already lost grandparents, two siblings in 2005 and 2018, a beloved family dog and cat. I understood the various depths and shades of those griefs. Then, losing Rich, a nephew I helped raise and then both parents in short order, I experienced a full spectrum of grief like I’d never known.
For the man who wrote that Atlantic article, losing his beloved pet was his personal grief bench mark. If that is the extent of his grief experience then that truly is the worst grief he’s known. I still grieve dogs, and cats, I lost years ago. I understand that it’s a grief that should not be disregarded or minimalized. Many have deeper relationships with their pets than they do humans.
As I write this, two of my four dogs are fast asleep nearby. Their entrances into my story are like a furry bookmark of the particular life chapter they represent. The love I feel for them is real and I know some day they may very well outlast their “assignment” here with me and will be called to carry on elsewhere. This is a belief I hold for humans, too, and it makes processing my grief a little easier.
On Wednesday of last week, country music star Kenny Chesney posted about the loss of his 15 year old Golden doodle Poncho. That dog meant the world to him and it was touching to see how his loss affected this famous singer and dog-lover. Kenny was quoted as saying he believed that dogs enter our lives when most needed, and it isn’t just any dog, but one sent specifically for you. As I often say, when the time is right, so is the dog.
Today is Halloween (I almost forgot as I’m not a big fan and I live in the middle of nowhere) and Sunday brings Day Light Savings Time. it can mark the beginning of colder and shorter days making it more difficult to get out in the world. On Monday All Saints Day is observed by many followed by All Souls Day the next day. Lots of deep and reflective occasions during which we can do our best to carry on while trying to remain positive for the upcoming holidays. As Kenny Chesney sings in his popular tune, we Carry On (who cares what the naysayers say).
Have a good week.
