A Fine Champagne On the Move
A mere 77,999 days ago a widow changed the face of widowhood.
Madame Clicquot, known as the “Grande Dame of Champagne” was a French Champagne producer. She took on her husband’s wine business when widowed at 27. Under her ownership, and her skill with wine, the company developed early champagne using a novel technique. The brand and company of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin still bears her name. -Wikipedia
Last night, instead of writing this blog, I went to see Widow Clicquot.
Thomas Napper’s ‘Widow Clicquot’ is an accomplished work. It provides an intriguing history lesson and showcases a standout performance from Haley Bennett, who flawlessly portrays Madame Clicquot’s outward fragility and inner strength. –Preston Barta
Bennett, in a finely etched portrait, displays the temperament needed to be an effective [boss], treating workers with kindness and gratitude, building loyalty…creating a collaborative workplace. –Lynn Venhaus
A mere 5,472 days ago, another iteration of widowhood arrived.
The term “widow” evolved in 2009 when the first National Conference of Widows appeared on the scene. A young widow emerged from the sudden death of her husband due to a bicycling accident, only to find the few books available were “how to balance your checkbook” when the complexity of widowed life was so much more. Seeking to help herself, she and her small team went on to create a camp for widowers and widows, delivering a creative, inclusive, and hopeful opportunity for widowed people for 16 years. A brain-child which began with just 79 widowed people grew to over 400 participants in 2024.
As you likely know,
The last camp in this format occurred at the Marriott Marquis San Diego Marina this past weekend.
So, why do we care about the woman from the 18th century who was 4 and a half feet tall with light colored hair and grey eyes and stormed the champagne industry during the French Revolution? Barbe-Nicole Ponsardin Clicquot was widowed in 1805, at the age of 23, when women of that time were not allowed to run a business. However, widows were exempt from that rule. She thrived.
In a previous Widows Voice blog post about her, from 2023, I share the inspiration I received by learning her story.
Last night’s movie awakened some phrases that might be helpful to us as we move from the 3-day Camp Widow model into the unknown future of Camp Widow on the road.
Advice from 18,000 days ago for the year 2025 when we are invited to meet Camp Widow on the road.
The movie modeled many things that are true in my own journey of widowhood, and for many others I’ve spoken to in the past year of leading a Soaring Spirits Regional Group. The film shows how the memories of my person arrive out of order and at the least convenient times. Tender memories, difficult memories, horrific memories. Life is a long, winding road and you don’t have to live that long to know that life is hard. The movie illustrates the “secondary losses” which occur randomly. The accomplished actress shows the despair that arrives with other losses, or variations of the loss of our person. The film also captures the sweet moments of success along the way.
The movie version of Madame Clicquot says,
“The vines need to struggle to become who they’re meant to be.”
In this jewel of advice, we are the vines. What we experience forms us. Invites us into new versions of ourselves. The many things we face offer opportunities to gain wisdom from that which we fear, that which we do not wish to let go of (but must), and that which pushes us to the edge of what seems possible.
Speaking to herself, after one of many disasters Madame Clicquot faced, she tells herself:
“Work differently . . . work on what’s in front of us . . . try again.”
This applies for us individually when we consider EVERYTHING that is now on our plate. Responsibilities no longer shared with our person. All the things. It can remind us that the pivot to the “road trip” is found in this phrase as well. Real life challenges call us to work differently and work on what’s in front of us. An invitation to the creative process that is already birthing a new model. Over and over we will “try again.” As widowers and widows, as parents, and as an organization that is dedicated to helping widows around the world.
“Why do we create? …so that we might uncover the secrets of ourselves.”
Barbe-Nicole in Widow Clicquot
A worthy thought indeed. Why do we create a new life for ourselves after our person leaves? Why do we create ourselves anew when, or if, we barely know who we are….who we were before? Why do we create a new iteration of Camp Widow for the many widowers and widows coming our way?
. . . so that we might uncover the secrets of ourselves.
. . . so that we uncover the layers of who we are becoming.
Just for today, let’s follow Madame Clicquot’s advice and see what we learn. Opening ourselves to the “new” while still treasuring what “came before.” Let’s try again…and again…and again.
A path that leads toward resiliency.
Let’s keep going, together.
