Feeling some things today in my heart that are a bit all over the place, but also sort of add up to emotions of maybe being thankful or grateful or something in that neighborhood. Finally. Maybe. Sure. On this 21 year anniversary of the horrific events of 9/11/2001, Im feeling thankful to know and to […]

On August 31, 2002, Don Shepherd flew from his home in Florida into Newwark airport, and met me in person for the first time, after we had been marinating in our long-distance/not yet defined relationship / incredible friendship for three and a half years. Because of past trauma I had been through, I was terrified […]

I know that the concept of time moving fast isnt exactly anything new. The idea of “where did the time go?” is something that people talk about all of the …. well, all of the time. But in my last month of being 50 years old, (I will turn 51 in September), for some reason, […]

When I first became widowed, I had good friends and family practically begging me to go see a therapist or a grief counselor. Why? Because after a few months of me being widowed, they were sick of me talking to them, and crying constantly, and being depressed all the time, and they were probably sick […]

Today we are having a pool party. Well, its a birthday party, out by our pool, on this 89 degree sunny summer day. My husband Nick’s son, Nicholas, turns 37 years old today. Nick very much wanted to throw him a party, which was planned well before we knew Nick would be having bypass surgery, […]

Im a bad widow. Again. Its starting to become a theme. Not only did I completely forget to write in here last Sunday, I also forgot to write in here the Sunday before that. Wow. I think we need to print a sign on my forehead that reads WRITE IN WIDOWS VOICE, and have it […]

So in preparing for my husbands upcoming triple bypass surgery, which will happen on July 20th, a few things have had to be changed or altered in order for us to make sure he is following doctors orders of getting rest, not lifting things, and not doing anything too stressful or strenuous. Nick had purchased […]

So there has been something going on that is a very big deal that I have wanted to talk about for quite awhile in here, but until now, I didnt have my husband Nick’s permission to do so. Why his permission? Because the “something” is about him and his health. Unlike me, when something significant […]

There are times in this widowed life where I just want to scream at the universe or God or whatever randomness helps things to happen to people … ITS NOT FAIR!!! Its not fair that a widowed acquaintance of mine who lost his wife to cancer just 3 years ago, is finally starting to get […]

So its Fathers Day today. Always an emotional and complicated day. Over the years, this day has been one that I have carried with many mixed emotions. The sudden death of my husband Don, of course, comes to mind first. He was only 46 yrs old when he died, he always wanted to be a […]

Lately, I have been asked to appear on several podcasts, or take part as a speaker or be interviewed for “Grief Summits” and “Grief Conferences” and other such events which have intimidating and very serious sounding titles. The reason I’ve been asked to do these events quite often recently, is because the TEDx talk that […]

Life is hard. Widowed life is hard. Sometimes things happen in life that really have nothing to do with my widowhood, but they are just “life” things that happen and that are stressful, and because I am widowed, my perspective on these things and how I handle them and cope with them is different – […]