So you are having a great day. Your future is brightening. The birthday of your passed person is on the horizon so you book two trips to help you through the day and allow yourself to get away and enjoy life.

You don’t want to be alone and think of the 43 candles he won’t be blowing out with you this year. You don’t have to stress about finding the right birthday present but you also don’t get to see his face when his eyes light up as he pulls away the wrapping paper.  You want to acknowledge the deep emptiness of the day but you know he would want you to go out and celebrate. He will be there with you. You may not see him but you will feel his presence and know he is there celebrating with you. Your excitement builds with something to look forward too. Finally you have the big boat before the storm hits. You’ve begun to prepare.

A text message comes through while you’re thinking of the fun adventures to come and you open that little message which shatters the hull of your vessel. The family has finally decided to have a service for him on his birthday in less than a month with no warning and they hope you can be there. Your heart sinks and you are suddenly drowning. Rogue wave!

You explain that you already planned two trips and you can’t back out of them. You planned trips to help your grief because they didn’t tell you their plans to have a service for your person. YOUR PERSON! Not their person! Your person! They say they will talk about it and see if there is another day. Graciously you understand if his mother is set on that day but his ashes are with you. You can’t drive him up to his family before this all happens. If they move forward with his birthday for his burial than the last time you’ll hold him will be when you drop him off at the funeral home to be wrapped in padding, boxed up with labels and shipped.

Deep in your heart you wished that the labels read “Return to Sender” and in a week there would be a special delivery – He would magically walk through your front door…