There are minutes, hours, days that seem to fly by while seconds seem to drag on forever. It has only and already been 4 months since Tin has passed – only and already.

For those that don’t lose their “person”, it is hard to explain that time’s guidelines begin to bend in ways we never knew. Good days go fast. Bad days go slow. Yet the next week reverses and bad days go fast and good days go slow. Either way I’m keeping busy but the one thing I can’t run from is the building feeling of being lonely. I’m filling my days but not with new things and social events…I have to do everything around the house and I’ve also added 2 other side jobs to cover the cost of being alone. I’m busy but when I look at my day:

Weekdays – Wake up, walk Roan, gym, work, walk Roan, check work stuff for job 2 and 3, bed, repeat.

Weekends – get up, walk Roan, clean, run errands, walk Roan, check work stuff for job 2 and 3, bed, repeat.

Tin and I were only here for 1 year before he became ill. We didn’t have time to get settled and make a circle of friends. I already feel the emptiness and loneliness of not having family and friends in the area and I can’t see where I might have time to build a new life. I’m only one man and I’m already alone…

Two days before Tin passed away he wanted to go back to our home to see everything one last time. It was very late and I was burnt out. I promised him I would bring him up early the next day so he could have the whole day to look at everything and just enjoy the calm of our home. Tin felt too tired the next day and couldn’t come over. Early the next morning he passed away. He only wanted to go home one last time and I already regret that I didn’t take him the night he asked. I’m so so very sorry Tin. I didn’t know how fast that last day would pass… If only…