. . . Mystery

awake
i wonder
where are you now?
feeling you
is
– for me –
proof
that
somehow
you
still
exist.
arriving
not
at
my will
i wait
i wonder
waiting
wondering
is
so
hard.
yet
harder
still
is
the
mystery…
the
not-knowing.
feeling you
not feeling you
sensing you
no sense
nonsense?
hardest
of
all
is
the
missing.
which
completely
and
utterly
dwarfs
under
the
truth
that
you
existed
at
all.
lucky
mystery.