This Monday, September 28th, would’ve been our 30th Wedding Anniversary. What a beautiful day it was spent with our guests on the River Queen on the Manasquan River in New Jersey. Today, while doing some cleaning out, I came upon a framed wedding photo in the drawer of a piece of furniture I am giving away. Out in the garage, I discovered a CD of our wedding. Somebody’s thinking about this milestone and wants to let me know. I remember going to the River Queen Office every few weeks to make a payment towards the wedding.
I still have my wedding gown that’s followed me through five residences spanning three states. It’s a beautiful ivory cotten Laura Ashley dress purchased by a friend at a sample sale and sold to me for a mere $1.00 a few years before I’d even met my husband-to-be. It would be easy to update and refresh and I’m hoping that the right person will do so some day. Today I saw the same dress for sale on the Etsy site!
Recently, I gave away the brand new suit that Rich wore to a wedding we attended just weeks before he passed. It’s so hard to part with these “things” but at some point it’s part of the perpetual moving forward process. It’s especially difficult to release certain personal treasures and I feel like I’ve been doing that continually for the past few years. I know Rich would be happy seeing someone else enjoy these items rather than have them languish in a closet.
It just doesn’t seem like 30 years have gone by. So many who attended our wedding are no longer with us making memories emotionally complex, including several close family members. Many are still are alive and well, but are no longer an active part of my life. Sometimes I wonder why certain friends weren’t invited and then I realize I hadn’t met them yet! Thirty years is a long stretch of time. I’m thankful that I have many good recollections of that day and happy times during our lives at the Jersey Shore.
I was reminded by a Facebook Memory last week that four years ago I took a solo drive up I-95 with my dog Quint to bring Rich’s cremains home to New Jersey. I never could’ve imagined making that trip alone, but we learn that we are capapble of many things. It was a special trip with visits with so many friends. The story of that trip was the content for my first Widow’s Voice post.
Although I am writing about a wedding anniversary of September 28, it isn’t lost on me that Rich’s passing occured on October 28th. That number “28” is so prominent in my life, so much so that a close friend brought it to my attention once and we made a list that is truly extraordinary.
Maybe it’s because those fateful dates are so close on the calendar that I often write about the beginning of a marriage and its “ending” as if they blend into one vortex. No sooner am I reminiscing about our wedding day when I find myself four weeks later writing about the anniversary of another sort.
As I write, I see that Ocean and Monmouth Counties at the Jersey Shore are under a Declared Emergency due to a Nor’easter. On a Facebook Post I see people asking if weddings and receptions will still take place. I feel for those who’ve spent so much time planning their special day that now may be cancelled by forces out of their control. We survived the ravages of H. Sandy so I understand the crushing impact of any storm. I would say to them that they are fortunate that this kind of storm will pass, and their futures will shine bright and hopefully long as they create new chapters and lives together. This too, shall pass as the saying goes.
Stay safe in the storm. Welcome First Weekend of Fall.
