Today looked like this….

I got up.

I laughed before the big toe of my left foot hit the floor.

I left at 8:15 for an 8:30 class that was a 20 minute drive away.

I drove giggling…my lateness, some things never change.

I didn’t know anyone in the class.

I didn’t feel like knowing anyone from the class.

At the class, I didn’t eat the granola bar, tossed the too sweet yogurt and drank 4 little bottles of water (borrowed from my table mates, the ones I didn’t know.)

I drove home and sang till I coughed.

I made a semi-nutritious lunch for my kids out of food I already had in the refrigerator!

I made a really nutritious lunch for myself. (Spinach, yellow peppers, avocado, pine nuts and goat cheese. Tossed with more balsamic vinegar than olive oil.)

I braved Target at 2:30 pm shopping for clothes with my two youngest. We didn’t run over anyone while we were telling each other jokes.

I put together a telescope. I saw the pink-purple flowers of the Morning Glory way in the back yard REALLY well.

I dropped off my daughter for her (as of this minute) first successful sleep over in over 1 1/2 years.

I was truly interested listening to Ezra’s hypotheses about weapons, bombers, fighter planes and tactical ways to win over an enemy.

I paid attention as he went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Just he and I went to see Avatar. It was a 7:45 pm movie. He’s usually in bed by 8:30. We didn’t get home till 11:00.

Now at almost midnight, I am laughing again.

I’m OK.

His death didn’t destroy me.

Didn’t remove my essence.

Didn’t consume me.

And I’m still standing

and I find my feet are encased, ensconced in this new earth.

I wriggle my toes and notice that I cannot move the earth that covers them.

I laugh so hard….I pee.

My friend said, “How are you doing?”

Today, I didn’t lie.

“I’m ok.” I told her

And I am.