• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Widow's Voice

Widow's Voice

  • Soaring Spirits
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors
    • Kelley Lynn
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Emma Pearson
    • Kathie Neff
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Victoria Helmly
    • Lisa Begin-Kruysman

Hug a Widow(er)

Posted on: November 21, 2022 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

This weekend I went out with some girlfriends. Our original plans were foiled when the cover band we wanted to see had to cancel their show due to illness. So, we pivoted and ended up at a country bar that recently reopened.

I don’t know when the original one closed, but I can tell you in high school they had teen nights that my friends and I attended regularly. We knew most of the line dances and could 2-step up a storm if the right boy asked us.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Tony and I never dated in high school, but we ran with the same group of friends, so it’s something we did long before either of us were interested in each other. Together but separate.

I haven’t line danced since the late 90’s and somehow, I still remembered a few of the dances. It’s weird what our minds and bodies hold onto, apparently the line dance called Slappin’ Leather is one of them.

While I was sitting out, we noticed an old acquaintance on the dance floor. She is a widow, and she lost her person to suicide like I did. We haven’t seen each other in years but we now share a knowledge we wish on no one.

Photo by jana bemol on Unsplash

We hollered her name, and it was like a scene out of a movie. She saw me, our eyes locked and then we raced to each other. We exchanged the most aggressive hug I’ve ever had. It was a hug that didn’t need words. That hug symbolized everything we knew the other person had gone through and even the things we don’t know. We are both fairly candid on our social media pages on what it’s like to be a suicide widow but there are always details we don’t share publicly. Things you can’t put into words or are just too much for public consumption. That hug contained it all.

I am sure we were getting some strange looks because this powerful hug wasn’t quick. There was so much to say with just an embrace.

I think I need to start hugging all my widow friends this way. We’ve all lost our person and we don’t get hugs as frequently as we used to. We need to make them count when we have the chance.

So, I challenge you this holiday season to find a widow(er) and give them a massive, squeezy, make heads turn hug. It’ll be good for both your souls.

Photo by Thiago Barletta on Unsplash

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community, Widowed by Suicide, Uncategorized

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 42 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 8 and 13. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.

Primary Sidebar

Footer

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors

SSI Network

  • Soaring Spirits International
  • Camp Widow
  • Resilience Center
  • Soaring Spirits Gala
  • Widowed Village
  • Widowed Pen Pal Program
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Contact Info

Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, CA 93065

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 877-671-4071

Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 Corporation EIN#: 38-3787893. Soaring Spirits International provides resources with no endorsement implied.

Copyright © 2023 Widow's Voice. All Rights Reserved.