A Simple Dinner Party for Widowed Folk
The clutter of food leftovers waiting for containers is evidence of an evening’s gift of food, conversation, kindness, and even laughter! Welcome to the Soaring Spirits Regional Social Group experience!
For the first two years of widowhood my inbox featured a regular invitation to join with other widowed folk at a public restaurant for good food and conversation. What a beautiful gift to show up where someone else has put together all the pieces just for you! All I had to do was drive to the location and take a seat.
It is difficult to enumerate all the ways we feel broken after losing our partner. The list below offers a glimpse into why a widowed social network is important.
Loss of a Spouse: 5 Things Only a Widow/er Understands
- It’s a couples world and socializing after the loss of a spouse is never the same.
- Even a very caring network of support can’t replace this one thing we had: a shared and equally vested interest in the outcome of each other’s lives.
- Following the loss of a spouse or partner, I feel like only half of a whole.
- Every part of my day and routine is now changed and altered, especially when it’s time to go to sleep.
- My spouse/partner filled more than just one role in my life.
Grief in Common (Karyn) here:
After attending the conversation-over-a-meal known as the Regional Social Group, I (eventually) learned more about what happens behind the scenes. The leader needs to figure out:
- Does the eatery offer separate checks?
- How many seats do we need for tonight based on the RSVP’s?
- How many first-timers will be visiting with us tonight?
Little did I know what was arranged for me in advance.
After two years of showing up for food, conversation and TLC, I opted to meet closer to home and looked into how I could make that happen.
An expert training was the next step. There I found a strong infrastructure in place to support each and every Regional Group Leader—the necessary ingredients to ensure safety and satisfaction for all.
Before long, it was my turn to send the email, track the replies, and show up early to save seats. I reached out to one of my Soaring Spirits Pen Pals, Shelley, and she arrived to help me scope out an area for us and put out the sign-in materials and nametags.
Of course I wondered if anyone would actually show up.
They did.
Crafting our own identity, we discussed ideas of how we’ll roll. One of our meetings will be at the same location each month; the second will be a revolving location. We might even try a campfire meeting!
The one-on-one interactions were a delightful surprise.
Research shows that peer support can improve people’s well-being, meaning they have fewer hospital stays, larger support networks, and better self-esteem, confidence and social skills.
-mentalhealth.org.uk
In the last two weeks, I’ve had two meet-ups with widows to bring them a New Widow Packet. There is a bit of magic that happens in widowed conversation, such as heartwarming stories or creative solutions for solving “widowed problems” that your friends don’t understand.
We’re now an official Regional Social Group in Riverside, CA and Shelley is taking the training to be my co-leader. I am excited to see what I will learn from this experience and I’m even more excited to see how many widows and widowers we can invite to our dinner party.
If you’re reading this and are new, I am sorry you have joined this club which no one wants to belong to; AND I am happy you found us.
Check out where you can find a Regional Social Group close to you!
