Widow's Voice

Feeling Numb

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I can tell you as I am sitting here in my living room writing this blog, I am feeling numb. In the past two months, they found an irregular function with my heart, my house got hit by a tornado, and thankfully only knocked down a wall in my backyard. I had to get my roof redone and as they were putting in the new roof, a bunch of water poured all over my furniture and Christmas decor. I rushed back and forth trying to get buckets to collect all the water that was coming down, all while trying to take care of my sick two-year-old daughter.

All I can say, is that I wish you were here.

About Mari Posa

I am a blessed woman with many shadows of darkness. I have met the love of my life, my best friend, and my soulmate. I have experienced motherhood and have triumphed in my career. I have built everlasting bonds, with people I love and respect. I consider myself blessed. With all those blessings, there are also shadows of darkness. I watched my father die as he held my hand and took his last breath. I lost many hopes and dreams as I buried the love of my life at the age of 31, just four months after burying my father. I left a stable and secure career for something much more significant, but then lost it all. I have seen immense beauty and extreme darkness in this life. I am a woman whose world was shattered into a million pieces, in what was supposed to be the best time of my life. Through love, learning, and therapy, I continue to move forward in this life with grief right beside me. I continue to honor those who have left this earth with pieces of my heart. I take one day at a time.