Tonight I was texting with my original Camp Widow crew of four. We haven’t all been together, in person, in a few years. But our connection is still strong and even if some time passes, we are always just a text away.

As we were texting, I was reminded of where one of our inside jokes originated. You know the saying, ‘if we aren’t laughing, we’re crying’? My friends fully embrace it.

During our Camp Widow weekend in 2023, I made reservations at a swanky rooftop bar. When I was filling out the reservation form it asked about our gathering, so I entered it was a reunion of friends.

After we arrived and were seated, we noticed a card on the table for us. The handwritten card reads, CONGRATULATIONS. The eruption of cackling laughter was immediate. It was knee slapping, foot stomping, snorting kind of laughter. All weekend; we enthusiastically congratulated each other. From that point on, it’s been a constant in our banter.

Oh, did your husband die? CONGRATULATIONS!

Is it hard raising the kids all by yourself? CONGRATULATIONS!

Do you have to do all the yard/house/car work? CONGRATULATIONS!

No matter how big or small the hard thing is, we congratulate each other and snicker.

To some it might sound a little twisted. To us, it’s a reminder that we aren’t in this widowhood alone. But most importantly, it’s an anchor in our friendship solidified in San Diego.