spent the evening talking

to someone in the same predicament.

sometime during the call

i felt this incredible guilt,

realizing that i had driven 

past the city

where

liz’s

remains are housed

when i drove to/from

my cabin the tuesday of my fishing trip.

can’t believe i didn’t

think about this

as i drove past

the town.

what an asshole.

how could i not think

of this in the moment?

not sure what i would

have done if i

had.

i wouldn’t have driven

to the funeral home.

or anything.

i just would have been

extra sad i suppose.

(so glad she’s not on my fireplace mantle or something. that would really suck).

the other thing

that contributed

to an awful day?

got a letter in the

mail.

the surgeon general sent

a certificate of appreciation with

liz’s 

name on it,

thanking her for 

“giving the gift of life, health & hope”

she was an organ donor.

what the hell do they

expect me to do with this?

frame it, put it on my wall?