fucking 25th
i thought we were
going to skip this day?
here it is, 25th #3,
#3 of a billion yet
to come.
not awesome.

have a shitload of
laundry to do 
after the trip,
but it’s been
exactly three months since
liz
died and i can’t stand
looking at the washing
machine, let alone
trying to use it.
i don’t remember
if i mentioned this before, but 
liz 
loved the
washer and dryer.
after using shared
laundry facilities for
11 years,
she was ready for her own.
she made sure that 
these machines got
delivered the day we
moved into our house.
now i have to walk
through the office so
i can avoid looking at the
liz
machines in the corner
of the kitchen
(house is small, kitchen = laundry room).
funny thing is,
i did most of the laundry.
her job was to fold.
(i hate folding clothes).
didn’t leave the house
during the day.
just spent time with madeline.
she did this 
for a little while.
sort of epitomized
how i felt.