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When Hard Days Come

Posted on: March 24, 2019 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

I’m feeling drained today. I’m feeling fragile. I didn’t sleep well. I’m still struggling with fears of other people dying, or of just how fleeting life is. I’m struggling with the idea of my own short life and how I sometimes wonder if I will feel I have lived it fully by the end. The cold weather here is really hanging on for dear life too, which is not helping anything.

I guess it’s easy to think about all these things right now… it’s just a few days away from Drew’s birthday. It has been 7 whole years now since I got to celebrate this day with him here. For some reason, that number feels a lot harder than some of the previous years…

He would have been 35. I can’t help but imagine where he would be by now. He was just starting his career as a pilot when he died. By now, he would have had years of experience and been moving up in ranks. He may have been flying in Alaska, or the Gulf, or anywhere else around the country. We would have moved every few years likely to somewhere new. I guess it’s just on my mind lately… what he would have been like at 35. What our world would have been like at what would have been 10 years together this year. We only got 3. Thinking that we could have had ten years by now and didn’t get to have that is so painful. No way around it.

So, today is just a hard day… even though it isn’t his birthday for a few more days. It’s still hard, because sometimes it’s hard for no reason at all. Sometimes it’s hard a week before a milestone date. Or a week after. Or, just on a random Sunday too.

Categories: Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions

About Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Mike and Sarah are both widowed and are now in a new relationship together sharing about their experiences of living on with grief and new love.

Mike lost his wife Megan in 2014 due to complications from Cystic Fibrosis. Together they had a daughter, Shelby, whom you will hear of often from Mike and Sarah as she embarks on her teen years.

In contrast to the lifelong illness they dealt with, Sarah lost her fiance Drew suddenly in 2012. He was a helicopter pilot and died in a crash while working a contract job across the country.

What you'll read from Mike and Sarah will be both experiences from their current life and love as well as the past... "To us, it is all one big story, and one big family. Now being over 5 years since we lost our partners, the fresher wounds are healed, but there are still fears, triggers, sadness... and there is of course still profound love. Love for the two people who brought us together and for each other. With their love surrounding us, we continue living, learning, and loving on."

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