My personal taste in music is extremely eclectic. I am influenced by all kinds of things when it comes to music; including my children, though they claim to be unable to improve my musical tastes. One thing you can count on though is there will be music playing somewhere when I am driving, home alone with no kids to complain about what I am listening to, and when I need a good cry, music always does the trick.
Many of my major break-downs after Phil died were fueled by music. Sometimes the music was completely unrelated to the situation…for example, I once drove the one and a half hour drive to my parents’ house listening to a country song about a woman whose husband cheated on her. When I reached my parent’s house I walked straight to my mom and started bawling my eyes out. When she asked what was wrong I replied, “I wish Phil were still alive and he had cheated on me!” And then burst into wild tears once again. My poor, poor mother.
Then there was the first Thanksgiving after Phil’s death. My sisters and I were ‘making the best of the day’ and cooking together in the kitchen. We chose the soundtrack for Wicked as our cooking music and when the song “For Good” came on the tears started pouring down my face, and all four of us ended up sitting on the coach singing and crying. Happy Thanksgiving.
No matter how crazy the circumstance, music has always been an outlet for me. So I thought I would share with you once a month the songs that have touched my heart over the past four years. Today you will find the above referenced song from the Wicked soundtrack. Knowing and loving Phil changed me for the better. I am extremely grateful, and I still can’t get through this song without a few tears.