Tomorrow is Father’s Day and I’ll take this opportunity to write first a little about the special bond my late dad, Jack, had with my late husband Rich.
There were some commonalities. My father’s middle name was Richard and they’d both served in the United States Navy, my dad also a member of the US Coast Guard and a WII Veteran, Rich serving during the early Viet Nam era as a Navy Corpsman.
But, as much as my dad was an active guy, I’m sorry to say that is where the similarities end!
My dad, a physical education instructor and later an athletic coach, instilled in me my awareness of being physically fit, something that has remained with me into the present. Each summer, he was employed as a municipal pool manager spanning five Bergen County communities over several decades. I loved those summers. My sister and I also worked as life guards and swim instructors as we became of employable ages. That became my summer job through High School and later on breaks from the University of Connecticut.
After my mother’s passing last year, ten months after my dad’s, I gifted myself the swim-in-place spa/pool I’d wanted for so many years. Here, in North Central Florida, I finally had the land and location. Each day, weather permitting, I work out physically by swimming in place, but I also call it my emotional therapy tank. For me, there is nothing more positive and soothing than being physically active in the water especially on sunny days. That mixture of sun and water lets my mind drift back to those happy swim club days and family memories. I never take that for granted especially as we are in the daily 90 degree season now.
As I’ve written before, my dad came to New Jersey from his native Massachusetts to coach football at River Dell High School. There, he met and coached, Bill Parcells, who went on to become a legendary Super Bowl coach, aka, the Big Tuna. My father especially loved the year’s Bill was with the New England Patriots.
Later, my dad became a wrestling coach. I recall as a kid his assistant coaches sleeping on our sofa and team members arriving for dinner and helping my dad in the yard. I recall my mother advising us to try not to annoy our dad the night before championship matches.
I loved those full house days, fueled with the excitement of the next big win…or not. It didn’t matter. I understood then, and still do, that it’s all about doing your best in the moment with the best you have at that moment. That’s what a good coach instills.
I recall one very funny incident when my dad had moved my family to Boulder, Colorado when he’d received a sabbatical leave to attend the University of Colorado for nine months. He was leaving the physical eductation department for the classroom to teach earth science and this was a requirement. My parents had rented a ranch-style home with a view of the Rocky Mountain foothills and a barn out back. One day, as we all sat at the large bay window facing busy Broadway (our address), a car went by and then stopped. After making a U-Turn, it pulled in to our driveway.
Several young men hopped out and came to our door. “Hey, Coach Begin!” they called. It was some of my dad’s former wrestlers and one of them had caught a glimpse of my dad in the window. What were the chances of that? Later, at a function in Boulder, I happened to meet another young man who’d wrestled for my dad in NJ.
In that regard, my dad and Rich were very similar. They seemed to know someone everywhere they went! I recall walking down a street in Kilarney, Ireland with Rich and he just happened to know the woman in the seat of a horse and buggy as it passed, a former resident of Cape May, NJ where Rich once lived for a time.
These are the unique and priceless memories we keep in our hearts forever. Wishing a Happy Father’s Day to all and to all the “Paw Dads” out there, as well who are adored by their fur kids.
