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A New Beginning

Posted on: April 28, 2019 | Posted by: Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

This past week I started something new that I feel both a little bit nervous about but also really hopeful about. I finally signed on to be a regional Soaring Spirits group leader here in Northeast Ohio. I’ve been sitting on this idea for over a year now. In part, for my own reasons… I have very few friends nearby since moving to Ohio. Each year, going to Camp Widow in Toronto, I remember how wonderful that kind of community feels, and how much I’d like to have some piece of that community here locally. I also know, I’m not alone there. I know there’s plenty of other folks who could use the very same thing.

So I finally signed up to lead the regional group here, with hopes that we can grow a wonderful, kind, supportive, fun group. This is a new part of me… I’ve never really been one to be part of organizations or larger communities. I’ve certainly never been one to lead things. But widowhood has changed that some. It’s helped me to realize we all have the ability to lead each other, guide each other, and help each other – even if we don’t have all the answers. It’s helped me to see that we heal better when we heal together.

Being a part of the widowed community has helped me to become more confident and realize that we are all so capable of helping one another on this journey… simply by being there.

I’ve felt like an outsider most of my life. When I was first widowed, at the age of 30, I felt even more like an outsider. That is, until I found the widowed community. Suddenly I was part of “The club no one wants to be a part of” for life. It may not have been a club I wanted to be in, but at least there was somewhere I belonged. For someone who’s spent a lifetime without that, it was actually an incredible gift.

There is something really comforting in knowing that I will always have this community… through Camp Widow, through writing here, and now, through my regional group. It’s comforting to know there is a place that I am not judged. Somewhere I am embraced and encouraged and supported and valued for who I am. Somewhere I can have deep conversations about all the many complexities of grief and life and love, and not run people off. Even if that somewhere came out of losing my person, I am still so grateful. I like to think that he brought me a whole village of people to make up for leaving.

And so, this next month, I will be hosting my first event for my new widowed group. I will be getting the chance to extend that sense of belonging to others who live in the area. A chance to support them, listen to them, laugh with them and cry with them. A chance to serve as an example that we can still live life boldly and beautifully, even if we are carrying grief with us each step of the way. And a chance for all of us to feel a beautiful sense of belonging together. 

Categories: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Community

About Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker

Mike and Sarah are both widowed and are now in a new relationship together sharing about their experiences of living on with grief and new love.

Mike lost his wife Megan in 2014 due to complications from Cystic Fibrosis. Together they had a daughter, Shelby, whom you will hear of often from Mike and Sarah as she embarks on her teen years.

In contrast to the lifelong illness they dealt with, Sarah lost her fiance Drew suddenly in 2012. He was a helicopter pilot and died in a crash while working a contract job across the country.

What you'll read from Mike and Sarah will be both experiences from their current life and love as well as the past... "To us, it is all one big story, and one big family. Now being over 5 years since we lost our partners, the fresher wounds are healed, but there are still fears, triggers, sadness... and there is of course still profound love. Love for the two people who brought us together and for each other. With their love surrounding us, we continue living, learning, and loving on."

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