This month I embarked on a solo trip for fun to Los Angeles and Palm Springs. I have done this once before. In 2019, before I started my Ph.D. program I went to Puerto Rico by myself. It was freeing and exciting, but there were lonely parts and times when I wished I had someone with me. This trip was similar, but I was able to visit friends this time which helped with the loneliness piece.
One of the things I did on this trip was visit Joshua Tree National Park. I went with a friend who I have known since elementary school and who is currently living in Palm Springs. We also attended high school together and unfortunately, we both experienced the loss of a partner. Her husband, also her high school sweetheart, died in 2017 of cancer. I brought some of Boris’s ashes with me on this trip and decided I would sprinkle some if it felt right. I felt safe with this friend, and there was one view in our time in Joshua Tree that I felt like Boris would find peaceful. I sprinkled a little of him and sent my love to him on the Other Side.
I wanted to share this because I feel like my solo trip was another step in my pushing forward with life. Sometimes I think about how much Boris has missed out on by being gone. And what else we could have done together but we didn’t have the money or the time, or it just didn’t seem right. I want to do more exciting things this year, and seek opportunities to find meaningful connections with people and places. My life (due to caregiving for my dad) does not always allow this kind of freedom, but I hope I can take the opportunities that I do have.
I hope Boris enjoys Joshua Tree in whatever way he can, and maybe appreciates my attempt to sprinkle him in beautiful places or places that i think he would want to be. Right now, his ashes live in Atlanta, Hong Kong, New York City, and now Joshua Tree.