Widow's Voice

With Apologies~

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I apologize to all of you for this week’s lack of a blog.  I’m sooooo sick.

Emotions were high and my immune system is low and all the emotions of my son’s graduation from Basic training for the Air Force,combined with a germ I picked up from my daughter, have laid me low.

But I haven’t been able to really pay attention to it until now, as I had to drive from Texas to Arizona.  Coughing and hacking up a lung the entire way, it seemed.

You name it and it seems to be showing up in my body;  clogged hearing, coughing til I can’t breathe, runny nose alternating with congestion.  I’m on some over the counter meds and hoping if I lie low it will run its’ course quickly.

So brain power and writing are beyond me for this week.  Mostly all I want is to curl up on a bed somewhere and wake up to see my husband bringing me hot tea, or better yet, a chocolate bar, as he always used to do.

Wishful thinking, I know. But I can at least just curl up for the night, as I’m safely at my daughter’s home.

Next week I’ll write a humdinger of a blog to make up for this…

About Alison Miller

My beloved husband Chuck died while we were full timing on the road. We’d rented a condo for our stay in southern CA, and I had to leave 3 weeks after his death. All I knew at that time was that I had to find a way to continue traveling on my own, because settling down without him made me break into a cold sweat. I knew that the only place I’d find any connection to Chuck again was out on the roads we’d been traveling for our last 4 years together. I knew nobody out on the road, I knew grief was a great isolator, and I knew I had to change the way I traveled without him, to make it more emotionally bearable for me. So I bought a new car, had a shade of pink customized for it, bought a tiny trailer and painted the trim in pink, learned how to tow and camp, and set out alone. My anxiety was through the roof, and all I knew to trust was the Love that Chuck left behind for me. I found Soaring Spirits early on, thank god, and the connections I made through SS helped ground me to some extent. I needed to know that other widow/ers were out there in my world, because I felt so disoriented and dislocated. Through Soaring Spirits, as the miles added up, my rig taking me north, south, east and west, I found community. I found sanity…or at least I learned that if I was bat shit crazy, I was in good company, and realizing that ultimately saved my sanity. PinkMagic, my rig, is covered with hundreds of names of loved ones sent to me by my widowed community, and I know it isn’t visible to the naked eye, but I’ll let you in on a secret…she actually illuminates Love as I drive down the many roads in our country, and I can see it through my side view mirror. Love does, indeed, live on~

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