As an adult, I have always been an avid reader. I started a book club in 2012 that met monthly for a solid 7 years. My friends would tease me that any books they picked I’d already read. This was always fine with me. I could still talk about the book they chose, and it gave me more time to read something else on my own. Even as my life changed and we grew our family from 1 to 3 kids, I always made time to read.
Suddenly grief enters stage left.
I went from reading an average of 2 books a month to almost nothing. After Tony died in April of 2021, I read two fiction books the rest of the year. TWO. I hated that I couldn’t concentrate or have the energy to get lost in a book.
I also knew this was normal. Thankfully, someone sent me a copy of Megan Devine’s book, “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand.” This was the first and only book I really devoured in 2021. While different circumstances lead to the death of our loved ones, her loss was sudden in the same way mine was and I identified with message. Reading her book and attending Camp Widow are the two best things I did for myself in 2021.
But I still missed reading so much, and getting lost in a good book. Sharing book recommendations with friends. I didn’t like that I couldn’t control this. I had to wait it out, take it slow and know that eventually I might be able to circle back to one of my favorite hobbies.
I’m kind of afraid to put it in writing but I think I’m back!
Two months ago, a friend texted me a book recommendation and I decided to give it a go. She was right, it was a good one. I finished it then jumped into another recommendation I already had on my device and then another. Without really realizing what I was doing, I finished 3 books and started a fourth.
I love getting lost in someone else’s story. All that character development and life on the pages. Learning about cultures and struggles different from my own. Identifying with characters when things are similar. Marveling at someone else’s creativity to create something fantastical. Finding a tale that sticks with you long after the pages are read. I love that and it feels good to get a little something of the before me back. There are so many things from the ‘before’ me that died with him, I’m glad to have this piece back.
