When You Love Again,
after life-altering loss –
everything inside of you,
freezes
in terror,
that you will again wake up,
to the very real nightmare,
of a world
where all of it
has disappeared.
When You Love Again,
after death has stolen your other life,
and your partner –
you fear looking forward
or toward the future,
because the minute you do,
it all might come crumbling down,
and you will be left,
Alone.
With the wreckage.
When You Love Again,
you panic
you can’t breathe,
every missed connection,
every text not returned,
every phone call met with silence –
because that text,
could have been the last one
OR
the silence,
could mean that they were perfectly fine
two seconds ago,
but now they are forever dead.
Again.
When You Love Again,
you want to spend more time
hugging each other,
and kissing,
and listening to music while eating ice-cream
in the car.
You want to really hear their laugh,
or look into their eyes with purpose,
as if you are memorizing them,
so that they wont ever go away from you.
You want to spend more time being silly,
and less time nitpicking,
about things that do not matter.
You want to find humor in your faults together,
instead of tearing each other down,
in subtle ways,
as so many lovers do.
You want to keep discovering each other,
over
and over
again.
You want to learn,
and grow,
and evolve,
into the very best versions,
of who you were always supposed to be,
Together.
When You Love Again,
and you truly open your heart to it,
you can actually feel it expanding,
and making room for this beautiful person,
carving out space reserved just for them.
Your heart knows,
that this Love is special,
because it is built on the foundation
of being loved greatly,
by the one you lost
to death.
When You Love Again,
and truly make the choice to love greatly,
you do so with reckless abandon,
with dare in your soul,
with incredible passion and insight,
with burting joy and gratefulness,
for every single moment
that Love
comes walking in.
You break every barrier,
face every challenge,
feel every complicated emotion,
dance together in the kitchen,
hold each other through horrific trauma,
see each other through unspeakable pain,
sit with each other
and be each other’s All,
through chaos
through hurt
through hard transitions.
Maybe this time around,
there will be Aging together.
Maybe this time around,
there will be home-buying,
or double-digits in the
anniversary years.
Maybe this time,
dreams will be realized,
retirement will be experienced,
changes will occur,
and
nobody will die.
Well,
at least not for a very,
very,
very,
long time.
When You Love Again,
you take the risk,
you live with the fears,
so that you can have
the Love.
You try to stay in
the Now,
even while
remaining hopeful
that Tomorrow
will come.
You glow in the light of
being someone’s person.
You understand
that connection
to another human being,
is the reason
for Everything,
and you let yourself
Fall
and be One
with the miracle,
that comes from loving,
and being loved.
And the world feels different,
and off it’s axis,
and you feel giddy,
and powerful against the things,
that want to get in your way.
The trees are made
from candy,
and the sky
was made
just for the two of you,
and the grass
is made from gold.
And nothing
will ever be
the same.
And you
will never be
the same.
And life feels
like a
Miracle,
and you
can do anything,
with Time
as both your enemy,
and your
best friend.
The world is your Adventure,
and you are
each other’s
Way,
When You Love Again …
