It is now Wednesday evening, late. Close to midnight I guess. 

By the time you read this, it will be Friday sometime. 

That is my scheduled time to write each week, so this will be pre-set

to publish on that day.

I will be in Toronto, Canada, attending and presenting at Camp Widow. 

There wont be much time to get online or to write blogs. 

So Ill do it now. 

 

This week was my husbands birthday.

Would have been 54. 

He will be forever 46. 

I dont know what to do

with the birthday

of a dead person. 

When peiople say things like 

‘hes celebrating in heaven” or ‘happy heavenly birthday!”,

i laugh. 

not to be mean.

i just laugh.

its funny to me. 

the idea of my husband having some party with cake and balloons up in the clouds.

he hated balloons.

he didnt really believe in heaven. 

just energy.

science.

souls.

so i suppose his soul is alive,

but that is with me,

and everywhere,

and all around.

not in some place far away called heaven,

that i cant reach until im dead  too.

i dont believe that.

so birthdays

for dead people

seem rather silly. 

anyway,

ill be in toronto,

and ill be thinking of my husband,

like i always do,

while im out there attempting

this wild weird widowed life. 

thats all for now …….