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Taking Stock

Posted on: April 6, 2023 | Posted by: Gary Ravitz

I’ve explained that my recent travels with Lola the pup to explore Arizona and parts southwest felt like an imperative. Simply put, I had to go.

To accomplish the mission I did a lot of driving over a short period of time. Today, back home, I realize it was unnecessary and possibly even a mistake. At minimum, I could have enlarged my travel time allotment, the better to stop and smell the roses. In hindsight, I barely caught a whiff.  At the same time the notion of spending additional nights on the fly in motels of such varying and uneven quality as we encountered does not make me long to get back on the open road. Perhaps next time I’ll opt for cozier private accommodations.

Another possible error: once Lola and I were arrived in Tuscon we basically stayed stationary. In fact, however, even excluding Phoenix, there are multiple worthwhile jaunts within a day’s journey by car. Next time, I will plan more carefully.

Finally, no one can control the weather, but the fact remains that we arrived in Tucson just in time to share Tucson’s coldest and wettest January in nearly a decade.  Ironically, back home, citizens were basking in markedly above normal temperatures and snow-free conditions. Indeed, on the whole, the daily temperatures in Tucson remained well below normal for the duration of our stay. Fortunately, normal is a relative concept. Tucson undeniably is a warmer and sunnier clime than we’re accustomed to here.

Taking stock, with these exceptions noted, Lola and I had a most splendid journey.

***

The only thing that might have made it better for me would have been to share the full experience with Robyn. (Robyn did manage to make it out for a short visit, which lasted less than a week!)

It’s a subject that we lately have broached. Happily, we are in agreement that the time has come to ratchet up the level of our commitment. It’s not simply a case that absence makes the heart grow fonder, though such an emotional reaction certainly could be a tell. Real commitment also involves careful reflection.

Robyn at long last seems to be warming up to the notion that there needs to be an end point to her (full time) working life. I have resigned myself to the notion that it will not arrive tomorrow. At least we are having a serious discussion.

More important, we have agreed we need to spend more time together– not a great deal more for now, mind you, but this feels like a step in the right direction. This will be an evolving situation for us both, and one that has serious implications.  For example, while my home is not a shrine to Lee’s memory, numerous photographs of her, and of us, remain prominently on display. I understand this is something that affects Robyn’s comfort level.  She is not being petty in pointing this out to me, and I would be silly to ignore her feelings in this regard.

 

Categories: Widowed and New Love, Uncategorized

About Gary Ravitz

In relevant part, my musings are for me. It’s one of the ways in which I process losing my sweetest. Of course, Lee didn’t want to die. She had fought like hell, but the relentless cancers kept coming: Skin cancers; breast cancer; head and neck cancer; colon cancer; and finally, the deadly pancreatic cancer. In June 2020, and only after being pressed hard by Lee, her oncologist opined that my wife had from two weeks to two months left to live, turned on her heels and nearly sprinted from the hospital room, never again to be seen or heard from by us. I promptly removed Lee from the hospital and brought her home. It was the right thing to do and I only wish I had acted sooner over “the best” medical advice to the contrary. In fact, my sweet wife only had nine days left to live. At the final, she embraced her own death with great courage and unfailing kindness. It was a truly remarkable display of grace and wondrous to behold. It was my great privilege and honor to be with her every step of the way. And now, it’s my privilege to be able to write a few words to you each week. In a nutshell, I believe every journey is unique, but, hopefully, to know that you do not have to walk it alone can also be reassuring. And, along the way, you might hear a bit more information about me.
Gary

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