I almost forgot to write in here today, because life. But here I am, writing the blog at about 7:20pm eastern time. Better late than never I guess. My day was a bit wacky today, and started out a bit chaotic and rushed, which is why I forgot to write in here, since I normally do my writing in the morning. Anyway, here I am.

Sometimes, especially lately, I feel as if I need a pause. I need to hit the pause button on all things life, and just be able to do absolutely nothing for a good solid month. And in that month, no bills would need to get paid, no big decisions would need to happen, I could not go to work or think about jobs or money or stressful things like where will I be living next month. None of that would come into play. I could just pause all of it and be on hiatus so I could clear my mind.

Today I was floating around in our pool with my friend Lauren, and I asked her, in a fantasy-like way: “Do you think I could just stop life for awhile and just keep floating around in the pool and do nothing else?” It has such a calming effect on me, just being in the water and swimming and floating aimlessly. I want to do more of this.

One week from today is July 13th. Thirteen years since the death of Don Shepherd. I miss that man so much. I so wish he could be here to help me through all of this, or even to just sit and pause with me for awhile. Can I just borrow him from wherever he is now, and have him here to float in the pool with me? He used to put my feet on top of his feet and then put his arms around my waist, and then he would say: “time for a water ride!”, and then he would move me  around the pool like that while whistling some sort of tune and being happy.

I miss him. I need that kind of peace and calm in my life right now – someone just leading me along in the water, and giving me a chance to rest.