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Loved Still, Loved Always ~ Flash Back

Posted on: May 29, 2019 | Posted by: Alison Miller

Alison wrote in today to say that she wouldn’t be able to write her blog, so we chose a piece that she shared in 2016 that we thought you would enjoy. <3

These days that stretch and wind and turn and curve

Nights that do the same

This life filled with unknowing and uncertainty

And grief and loss and wandering and wondering

Roads that stretch and wind and turn and curve

Thousands of miles since you died, my Love

Thousands of hours and minutes

Memories streaming past my window

Streaming through me and in me

Heart and mind and soul all involved

Oh yes, I miss you desperately

And life is forever changed

The missing-ness is ever present

But I remember the Love

I remember our Love

Our hearts and hands entwined

Our steps in sync

And even as my heart hurts

And my body aches with missing

I feel Love all around me as hands reach out to me

And I drive more and again

Embraced by so many out on the road

And though I miss you and even as I miss you

And love you still and always and ever, my Love

I am loved yet by so many

I know this would make you smile for me

Categories: Uncategorized

About Alison Miller

My beloved husband Chuck died while we were full timing on the road. We’d rented a condo for our stay in southern CA, and I had to leave 3 weeks after his death. All I knew at that time was that I had to find a way to continue traveling on my own, because settling down without him made me break into a cold sweat. I knew that the only place I’d find any connection to Chuck again was out on the roads we’d been traveling for our last 4 years together. I knew nobody out on the road, I knew grief was a great isolator, and I knew I had to change the way I traveled without him, to make it more emotionally bearable for me. So I bought a new car, had a shade of pink customized for it, bought a tiny trailer and painted the trim in pink, learned how to tow and camp, and set out alone. My anxiety was through the roof, and all I knew to trust was the Love that Chuck left behind for me. I found Soaring Spirits early on, thank god, and the connections I made through SS helped ground me to some extent. I needed to know that other widow/ers were out there in my world, because I felt so disoriented and dislocated. Through Soaring Spirits, as the miles added up, my rig taking me north, south, east and west, I found community. I found sanity…or at least I learned that if I was bat shit crazy, I was in good company, and realizing that ultimately saved my sanity. PinkMagic, my rig, is covered with hundreds of names of loved ones sent to me by my widowed community, and I know it isn’t visible to the naked eye, but I’ll let you in on a secret…she actually illuminates Love as I drive down the many roads in our country, and I can see it through my side view mirror. Love does, indeed, live on~

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