“The hardest walk you can make is alone, but it’s the walk that will make you stronger.”
This is easier said than done.
When you have a partner in life, someone who you know has your back no matter what. Someone who will shelter you during the storm. Someone who is willing to die for you before they let you suffer.
Then all of a sudden you are alone without that someone. And you must figure life out for yourself.
The plan was for Joey to be the money maker and I took care of the children. Once they were old enough then I would go back to school to pursue nursing. That plan went out the window after Joey died. Now I had to be the money maker and the caretaker.
I am lucky enough to have social security to pay our primary billings but it’s not enough and it will run out sooner than later. So I work two part time jobs to make ends meet but they are not forever jobs.
So it’s now or never. If I am going to keep this family afloat and not only survive but thrive in this world I must find a career. Health care. Retirement. All the things Joey’s job provide for us, that were taken away so quickly.
This week I have registered for school. I will apply for the nursing program in the fall. I will have to quick one of my jobs and live on a strict budget and off of our savings. It’s quite scary doing all this alone, without a rock beside me. But this is an urgent must. There can be no failing. I have children depending on this.
So I will take a deep breath and face the unknown alone.