I miss having a partner. A best friend who you can be your complete self around. A “go-to” person. The one you cannot wait to tell the gossip to. Or the big news–bad and good. The person that drives you absolutely crazy but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. I miss seeing my name next to his on invitations or signing both of our names on holiday cards. I miss walking into parties together and saving each other a seat. I miss cooking meals for two and having someone riding in the passenger seat. And yeah, I miss bossing someone around. I miss taking naps next to someone. I miss picturing every future milestone with a person. Planning a life with that person. I miss having a person. My person.
Do I want this kind of relationship with someone else, though? Do I miss these things about Boris or do I miss these things in general? How do I sort that out?
I am jealous of people who have their “person”. Even if it isn’t a romantic partner, but just a very close best friend. I don’t feel that I have that right now. But, I feel lucky that I had one once. I feel lucky to know the feeling of having a person. I want that feeling back.