i’ve been here,

in this place.

but when?

was it twenty five years ago?

maybe eight?

yesterday?

no.

it was 

thirteen years ago.

and it was

almost four years ago.

i was here.

she was here

we.

we were here.

but it was different.

thirteen years ago

it was an

awkward meal with

people who didn’t

know me.

but she made

it comfortable,

even fun.

…

some of them

were here.

i was here.

she was here.

we.

we were here. 

and that day four

years ago,

we stood up

there.

it was that day,

that day i 

put the one 

now on my

left hand

on hers.

and the one

now on my right

was on my left.

it was to

be like that forever.

that was the plan.

i can smell

the flowers.

i can feel the excitement

of that moment.

i can see the dress.

and the woman

inside of it.

but four years

later, i am here

some of them

are here,

but she,

she

is not here.

…