Widow's Voice

Growth

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a tree grows on the stump of a dead tree

One of our favorite campgrounds is a small state park along the Oregon Coast. Mario and I happened upon it one day when we went to check out a lighthouse, which happened to be right next to it.

We made some good memories in that park, including the singular outing where we happened to get rained on (we were usually really careful to check the weather before going out because neither of us felt that tent camping in the rain was a fun time).

I remember it was quite the storm. All night it absolutely poured with wind, thunder and lightening. Neither of us slept much and we had to scoot the cots to the middle of the tent because with so much water, the walls were getting wet. In the morning we headed off to buy a small tarp and some cord to tie it. It took days for the tent to dry out and of course it didn’t rain again after that, but every trip we brought that tarp along just in case.

We kind of grew a little wiser with each camping trip we took.

So many things in life work like that.

There’s a small lake at this campground with a mile long loop trail around it. I remember the very first time we walked on it together. Shortly after starting the trail, a canopy of trees envelopes you. The calm waters of the lake can be seen from almost the whole trail and on sunny days, light is delicately filtered through the foliage. It’s peaceful, and calming and you feel fully transported into nature.

The tree in the photo above is on this trail. Over the years, it’s become one of my favorite trees. Just seeing it in person is a bit magical. Mario was ahead of me the first time we walked the trail so he saw it first and stopped to take it in. We just stood in silence there, marveling how the younger tree had grown over the stump of the older one.

So much symbolism in that one act of nature. Out of death and decay, new growth takes hold, supported by what came before.

Every time I’ve walked that trail since Mario’s passing, I stop at that tree. I think about how we both once stood there together and the symbolism that tree embodies. Mario’s life and his death will always be a part of me and each year that passes I manage to still grow.

About Sherry Holub

I met my spouse, Mario, at UCLA School of Art in 1993. After graduating in 1995, I founded a small agency specializing in web and graphic design. Mario became my partner in the company in 1999. In 2002, we were married at the Costa Mesa, CA court house because neither of us wanted a big wedding ceremony (after already being together since 1995).

Mario was a highly talented artist, musician, illustrator and 3D Designer, but a tortured one. He was one of those gentle, creative souls who ended up burning twice as bright for half as long. Mario lost the battle with liver disease induced by alcoholism (almost exactly 6 months after he became sober) on 2/10/21.

I’m a long-time artist and writer with a background in photography who enjoys cooking, getting outdoors, staying young at heart, and sharing experiences to potentially help others. When it comes to writing, I’ve written both for fun and professionally over the years. Writing is also sometimes therapy for me and I don’t mind sharing my personal experiences with a wider audience.