Sex and widowhood. I don’t hear much about it but I wonder about it. I wonder about it because I think about it. You probably do too.
So I read an article this week about widowers and sex. It was kind of a sexist article, in that it spoke to the belief that widowers seek sex as a panacea to grief, that men tend more to emotions such as anger, brooding silence and isolation as they grieve. As a woman, I was offended for them. It isn’t that they don’t, but, I think, so do women. Along with every other emotion in the book, as we grieve. But that isn’t even really my point…
To quote: “When it comes to sex,” he writes, “most widowers find themselves in a tough spot. When their wife passed on, so did regular sex. The desire for sex is one of the reasons widowers start dating again.”
Where do we widows stand in this? When our husbands died, so did regular sex. And I can see it as a reason widows start dating again. I’ve given thought to it as a reason and why wouldn’t I? My husband and I shared a very passionate relationship as lovers and I miss it horribly. I miss the intimacy of it, the wildness of it, the love that drove it.