So my wedding anniversary happened. It was not horrible. It was incredibly sad.

I decided to watch some of my wedding video, which was professionally done by a videographer.

I didnt watch the ceremony or the vows or any of the highlighted parts of the reception.

Instead, I watched an “extra footage” video that featured lots of footage of guests and us dancing, laiughing, having fun, being silly, more dancing, and posing for the camera. It was so cool to see the huge and endless smile on my husband Don’s face. It was so cool to see him dancing and living and talking to our friends. Yes, it made me sad that he is not here and no longer alive or dancing or chatting with our friends. But I didnt fall apart watching it. I just felt sad.

Something else made me even more sad though. I kept noticing all the other people who were at our wedding, that are also now dead. Our family friend Al, who died in his 60’s of cancer. My Nana, who I miss all the time, but especially around the holidays and whenever we have family gatherings. Our lifelong friends and neighbors Chuck and Eve, who were married the longest of any couple at my wedding and therefore won the “Anniversary Dance” that Don and I did instead of the garter and bouquet toss thing. Our good family friend Thelma, who lived to be 102 years old, and who I share a birthday with. So many people in that video, now gone from earth. Then I noticed all those who are still alive, but who are no longer in my life for one reason or another. Friendships changed, people moving away, people getting divorced and then becoming estranged from us, people growing apart from one another – all of it. It made me sad to see so many people all celebrating love together in one place – now no longer a part of each others inner-circle. Life changes. Things change. Relationships die out or shift into something else. These things happen, and I know this, but it still hit me hard watching that video. Knowing that all those people that I love and that were pieces of my life, will most likely never be all in the same room again like that – dancing, laughing, eating delicious food, and celebrating glorious love.

It reminded me why my wedding day was the happiest day of my life, and why I couldnt stop smiling the entire day on that day. There is something magical about having everyone in your life all together in the same place, to honor and celebrate your union, and to share precious time together, in the most beautiful of ways.