I’ve never kept many friends. My circle has changed from year to year. It changed drastically after Linzi passed away. In that regard, I’ve always considered myself a lone wolf.
The main reason being that more often than not they end up letting me down, not coming through on promises, or it could be that I’ve done the same and redemption was never had and issues were left unreconciled. Fill in the blank.
I’ve always been of the mentality that if you want something done best, done right, and done in accordance to your vision and ideals, you should do it yourself.
No matter the outcome of a situation or the fallout that ensues, it’s important that you always remember one thing: the only person who will ever truly know your intentions and values is you.
Others can only speculate. Others can assume the worst.
I do my best to put on a face of objectivity when dealing with others, but I’m only human. So are you. Sometimes we break. Sometimes we retreat back into that lone wolf mentality. Sometimes…it’s necessary. Especially after great loss. So long as we don’t lose ourselves in the process. Others, myself included, oftentimes forget that I’m still grieving too.
Maybe I’ve done these things simply to appease those around me, convincing myself that the actions I take are for the greater good. Maybe I should give in to the multitude of opinions tossed around in secret conversations that what I do is driven by selfish desires.
Perhaps the wolf hiding in sheep’s clothing isn’t them.
Only I will ever know.