The aftermath of loss can be filled with many things. Exhaustion, pain, tears, hope, hopelessness, guilt, new friends, new perspective, more exhaustion, confusion, identity crisis, and so much more.

The aftermath of coming home after a Camp Widow weekend experience can be filled with some of those same things. Going to Tampa and giving my presentation, and also being the Keynote Address Speaker, was an incredible experience. I was able to reconnect with so many friends Ive had in the widowed community, some I hadnt seen in years. I was able to meet new friends, and maybe help to validate their experience, and even give a little bit of hope. At the very least, just be there to listen and to let them know they will get through this. I was able to practice self-care and relax a bit, during a time in my own life that has been extremely challenging and difficult. I was able to attend a couple of new workshops, sit by the pool and swim with some friends, have a breakfast with a dear friend that said some things to help me feel loved and cared for, and got a pretty great “post-Keynote hug” from Michele where she said nice things to me that I cant even recall.

Im tired. Im changed. Im trying to get back into the swing of things.

Speaking of backs, I threw mine out two days ago. I can barely move. No idea how I did it. My mom thinks its stress. Most likely. Grieving is hard. And sometimes unpredictable, other times just boring.

Thank you to everyone in this amazing community. I love you all, and I wish we never met.