Another Valentines Day has come and gone, this time I am single, widowed, AND divorced! Its the trifecta of “ways to have a crappy V.Day!” However, a good widow friend and I had made plans to go to Maine and have a girls weekend where we pampered ourselves, sat by the indoor pool, and got out of the cold and also the reality of valentines day madness. But the snow here in Massachusetts, another whopper of a mix of snow, freezing rain, and massive winds, halted our plans of driving the 2 hours to Maine. Ugh. So, instead, we are recheduling, and Im here in my pajamas watching my awesome brother as he shovels my driveway and cleans snow and ice off my car.

Valentines Day weekend can sometimes be hard for widowed people. Over the years, though, it has become softer for me, even being so recent from my divorce. This year, I have placed my focus on friendships, and how I have the best people in my life that a person could ever imagine. I still feel good about love. I still feel good about finding it again one day, when Im ready for another relationship. I still feel good about the ways in which I hold Don in my heart every day, and how I carry him forward with me into life, into more adventure. Time does not heal all wounds, but if you do the hard grief work, it sure does help the wounds to become less painful and raw.

And as for Valentines Day – well – it’s like Miley Cyrus said: “I can buy myself flowers.” The rest of it will work outself out, with my giving it a little budge.