Spring is here in Southern Oregon and today is one of those perfect type of days. It’s about 60 degrees and sunny at 6pm. The sky is a rich shade of blue, making me long for warm summer days to come. I’m currently sitting on my deck. On one of the chairs next to me is a neighbor’s cat who kind of adopted me and comes to visit frequently (what can I say, cats like me). Someone is mowing their field. There’s a slight breeze making the various wind chimes send soothing metallic tones through the air. Birds are joining in and chirping as they hit up the feeder I have out for them. I can even hear the occasional cow from the field across the street.
When Mario and I decided to move up to Oregon from Southern California, we craved a change of pace. We wanted a deck we could sit out on and watch the sunset. We used to jokingly say that we wanted a house in the forest. We did get the deck and the forest is not too far away at all. I can honestly say, Mario loved living in Oregon.
Naturally one of the first things we wanted to do after settling in was go camping. I remember we drove up through the Cascades and ended up at a large campground tucked into an area with Lodgepole pines and a lake. We put up on little tent and got out our camp chairs and sat down with smiles on our faces. We did it. We got out of the proverbial “rat race” and were now living a very different life we both enjoyed and that included trips like this, into nature, to, as we put it, chill the f—- out.
I’ll always fondly remember that first camping trip together. The next day we ended up exploring a volcanic park that included a brief foray into a lava tube cave where we joked that the rangers who offered to rent us some lanterns were placing bets on how fast we’d be back. We got about 30 feet in before we encountered an iced stairwell that descended into pure blackness and both said, “nah” and turned back. All in all, about 20 minutes. I still wonder which ranger might have won the bet.
There were many fun camping trips between that one and the last one. I remember them all, but the last one haunts me because deep down inside I knew it was the last one. Mario’s health had slowly been failing for years but had really taken a turn for the worse over the prior 12 months. The liver really is an amazing organ of the body and even has regenerative abilities, but not when forced to process large amounts of alcohol for well over a decade.
If only he would have accepted any form of help, but “if only” is one of the most useless phrases to dwell on. You only use it when something has transpired that you really wish hadn’t… something that you wish you could go back and change for a different outcome.
“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” – Mercedes Lackey
And now the sun is setting. The crickets and frogs are starting up their nightly songs and the coolness that tells me it’s still early spring has set in. So ends day 1128 since Mario moved on.
