I have one

and I use it.

I do.

When I’m tired, overwhelmed, or just feel like giving the moaning, complaining-about-their-cellulite-people around me a wake-up call.

I work it into a conversation and I slap it down.

Then stand back watching with internal glee (most of the time)

as others stumble, fall over themselves,

or stifle all objections.

I love this card.

I love what it does to people:

how they squirm, and flounder and try to change the subject.

I love that I use it.

So when you think your life is shitty

when you want your husband to “just once, just frickin’ once! DO THE LAUNDRY!”

and you have the nerve to complain and do NOTHING like actually ask him to do it,

I pull it out.

BAM!!!

The widow card is slapped down.

BAM!!!

Goes your self righteousness, your complaints.

BAM!!!

I don’t have to bring cake or desert.

I can be late and harried.

Cause

BAM!!!

my husband’s dead.