Yesterday was our SSI Regional Group meetup. Four of us met for lunch at a local pizzaria grill type place. My co-leader and I have both been widowed for 12/13 years. The other two ladies that braved the snowy weather yesterday are more newly widowed, both less than a year into this often times unimaginable new reality. One of them was there for the first time, and traveled from another state with a lot of driving to attend. Why? Because there is currently no SSI groups in the state she lives in. She was very grateful to sit and talk with others who get it and who understand the struggle, and we were very thankful to be able to be there for her, and for anyone and everyone who finds themselves needing support.

Her situation reminded me of my own, 13 years ago, and brand new to this widowed reality. I was searching for a group of supportive widowed people, and after a lengthy search, ended up finding one that was helpful – in Long Island, New York. At the time, I lived in New Jersey. Once a week, I would cross over states, and drive my late husbands beat up old car to Long Island; through the Lincoln tunnel, through Manhattan, and through the Midtown tunnel. The drive took about 90 minutes without traffic, and there was NEVER no traffic. The group met on a Wednesday evening, and so I was driving through NYC right in the middle of rush hour, which some weeks would take me 2 to 3 hours to get there. It was also an expensive drive, between the gas, and the cost of going through both tunnels. Was it worth it? Yes. Every Single. Time.

Getting proper support is often times so incredibly hard, especially when you dont have the energy or resources or motivation to keep looking for it. When you are in deep grief, it is next to impossible on some days to get up out of bed and shower, never mind going on endless searches for support that lead to nowhere. I am so incredibly happy to be a part of this incredible organization of SSI – an amazing group of widowed people who helped me in my early days of this mess, and who Im now honored to help others through.

This newly widowed person who was at our group for the first time yesterday, asked us about Camp Widow Toronto, and if we are going. We told her yes, we will be attending. She expressed interest in coming with us, should we do another road trip. Then she asked what the process was for becoming a Regional Leader, and said she may be interested in starting a group in her state, which currently does not have one. Even in her own deep grief, she is already thinking about what others might need, and also ways to further help herself through this. She said she knows that she needs community and support, and I remember knowing the same thing for myself. It feels impossible to get through this alone, and I think that is because we all need each other, ESPECIALLY in our darkest times of just trying to get through to the next thing.

So thankful for this amazing group of people who have helped me and so many others to keep going.