Everybody is familiar with making New Year’s resolutions. I have made – and broken—more than my fair share in seventy-four years of life. Whether these involved joining a gym or losing weight, their enduring role in people’s daily lives prompted researchers to investigate whether temporal landmarks motivate people to tackle their goals. Indeed, they found the effect to be real, and today this phenomenon is widely recognized as the “Fresh Start” effect. It is an occasion to turn the page positively.
The effect is not limited to New Year’s Day, but also includes so-called milestone birthdays, twenty-one, thirty, forty, and so on. Interestingly, to me at least, I recently celebrated my seventy-fourth birthday, not a milestone date on my calendar. Although I didn’t think about it much at the time, I now realize that since my birthday, I’ve signed up for two online music courses and started working with a personal trainer! Can the “Fresh Start” effect operate on a subconscious level? Some folks think so. See, e.g., https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/40087/13-signs-youre-desperate-for-a-fresh-start-in-life-on-a-subconscious-level/#google_vignette.
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In any event, my oldest nephew will turn fifty this weekend. Again, research shows “that we are more likely to initiate positive changes in our behavior following temporal landmarks, like birthdays…[which] create a sense of psychological distance from past disappointments and failures, allowing us to reframe our self-concept and set new intentions.” See “Fresh Starts: The Psychology Behind New Year Motivation,” found at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/4000-mondays/202412/fresh-starts-the-psychology-behind-new-year-motivation (12/26/24).
In his life, my oldest nephew has experienced significant mental health issues, including issues of gender identity surrounding the fact that he is gay. Indeed, he recalls feeling “different” at an early age. Unfortunately, for some time, neither his parents nor his grandparents would accept his sexual orientation. I remember my mother and father assuring each other that he would “grow” out of it.
To their credit, my mom and dad eventually abandoned their shameful reactionary thinking on the subject. My sister and her husband were much quicker to accept the true state of affairs with their son; even so, the issue of his gender identity lay at the heart of a simmering family friction that persisted among them for several more years.
Turning fifty seems a perfect occasion for my nephew’s next fresh start. To help celebrate the occasion, I am taking him out for dinner this weekend (along with Robyn). My nephew somehow managed to leverage the occasion to include his significant other and a friend from out of town who is visiting. These days, we are but a tiny family, so I have agreed to his outrageous demands, despite the high cost of dinner and drinks for five. And, to further prove what a good uncle I am, I will provide the transportation. (Don’t count on a card or a gift!)
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Finally, as long as we’re celebrating birthdays, it would be remiss of me not to mention that next week, my friend and constant companion, Lola the Wonder Dog, turns five. Over the relatively short span of a dog’s life, every birthday should be treated as a milestone birthday, and, certainly, I intend to treat hers as such. I can only wonder what Lola’s “fresh start” might encompass.
